Where I have been

I realize it's been a while since I last posted.
I had a bad accident two weeks ago...it didn't involve another car, but it involved a little boy who ran in front of my vehicle. There are always people lining the sides of the road in Malawi and it is everyone's greatest fear, including my own, that one day you will hit someone.
You don't think it can happen to you though, really - I mean, I am so careful. I honk. I slow down. But it did happen to me.
I was driving for the first time without a driver on a business trip to my favorite diocesan office, Mangochi. I saw a group of children running alongside a bike and honked my horn (as is the custom here) to let them know I was coming. They moved further over to the left (you drive on the left in Malawi), so I went to pass. All of a sudden, just as I was overtaking them, one of the boys in the group veered to the right and ran straight across the road. The only thing I can think is that he was trying to beat the car across the road. There was no time to react enough and nowhere to go - I braked and swerved, but could not avoid hitting him. It was definately the worst moment of my life...I was pretty much completely disbelieving what had just happened and I got out of the car, totally panicking.
Thank God, a driver from the other direction stopped and assisted me as well as a few other people - we got the boy into the car, drove to a clinic for first aid and then to the hospital, where he is now recovering. I am so glad that he is alive and expected to fully recover.
The police did an investigation (again, I am grateful to the two witnesses that were able to explain the circumstances to the police) and declared the collision an accident.
I am still dealing with the post-traumatic stress of the incident, and am also realizing how many other thoughts I have are wrapped up in my emotions about the accident....how accepting the boys parents have been (everyone is so friendly whenever I visit the hospital), and the fact that when I do visit the hospital, the boy gets more attention....I feel a lot of this has to do with race and priviledge and I find it even more upsetting.
Anyways, I recognize that the stress of this will still be with me for a long time (well, forever really), but I am feeling much stronger this week and decided to post this.
It took me a while to decide to blog about the experience, but the purpose of the blog (besides letting you all know what is going on while we are away) is to document my year here in Malawi, and good or bad, all of my experiences here are forming this incredible adventure, so this experience belongs here along with the stories of parties, funny incidents, dancing in villages and my thoughts about our year here in Malawi.